| Self Discipline: The Ultimate Key to Success |
| Written by Steve Goldberg | |||||||
| Sunday, 18 May 2008 | |||||||
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To achieve greatness, fulfillment, comfort, recognition, and happiness requires self discipline. For some, that is a dreaded phrase. Others live their entire lives imposing rigorous schedules upon themselves. Newsweek, Time and Parenting Magazine all frequently run articles about over-worked students, from elementary school to high school. Parents and students relay that they cannot get into the college of their choice without a grinding, unrelenting schedule. New hires at law firms burn the midnight oil for years on end in order to make partner. Self-discipline is key to success, but at what cost? Self-Discipline Re-imagined Self discipline is useless when employed toward an unnecessary end. To know and understand what is necessary and meaningful in your own life, you must plan and prioritize. In describing why it is necessary to plan, or unnecessary to plan, many quote John Lennon’s phrase "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.” It is quoted often because it is true; however, the truth contained within it does not necessarily tell us not to plan. Life happens whether you plan or not. How you plan does make a difference about how you handle things when “life happens.” Good planning allows for unexpected situations. Prioritizing allows for recovering, refocusing and realigning after an unexpected situation—good or bad. Depending upon your stage of life, different areas need attention. Students think about college and careers. Newly married couples think about houses and families. Middle-aged professionals look toward retirement. Each stage of life flows best when thought about beforehand. Prioritize what is important to you for your stage of life by thinking about where you are now, and where you wish to be. Tune out everyone’s advice but those who are involved. Plan to get there by writing down the steps you will take. Think about what you will do if an obstacle appears, or your life forks unexpectedly. Prioritizing and planning are exercises that help you know yourself. They become a ball and chain if you refuse to budge from your charted course. Focus and Flexibility Focusing upon a goal is important to achieving it. Having prioritized the end goal as something important in your life will make focusing easier. Planning your route makes the way clear; however, sometimes, as in Lennon’s song, life happens differently than you plan it. Those with true self discipline have coping skills to examine their new situation, identify useful aspects and move on. Focus and flexibility go hand in hand. As you journey on your path to success, you will be happier, more successful and fulfilled if you incorporate what you learn along the way. Progress happens from creativity and planning. Self-Discipline in the Real World Once there was a girl who loved to garden. Her mom and grandma both had large gardens, and the girl spent many summers helping tend the flowers. She also loved to read, visit museums, and create things. She was thrilled when, during middle school, she was given her own “flower bed” to plant in. By high school, she maintained her family’s extensive gardens, and gardens around the family-owned restaurant where she worked part-time. While in middle and high school, she volunteered at the local children’s museum and living history museum. She worked with visitors, teaching them about seashells, Egyptian Hieroglyphics, elements of costume design, and Indiana history during the year 1836. She excelled in school, especially English class. Her teachers hoped she would pursue a major in English and perhaps continue to law school. She had other ideas. She wanted to study horticulture. Her mother helped locate a Public Horticulture program at the state land-grant university. The program would combine all of her interests—writing, plants, and museums. Public Gardens are, after all, living museums, like “plant zoos.” She studied hard for four years, and lived around the country completing internships at places such as the Washington Park Arboretum, Marie Selby Gardens and the Smithsonian Institution. Her father helped financially support her as she gained as much experience as possible, and helped her go to the annual American Public Gardens Association conference each year—an expensive undertaking, but one that helped her land internships and jobs. She was accepted into the most prestigious fellowship program for Public Horticulture in the United States, the Longwood Graduate Program. For two years straight, she completed more coursework, internships and projects. Along the way, she experienced bumps in the road as projects dragged on, and thesis committee members went to Africa for years at a time! She finished her fellowship and coursework, and moved to New York, to become Curator of Landscape at Fort Ticonderoga. It took two years after completing her coursework to finish her thesis. She had to re-write it three times before her defense and three times after, but she finished. She married and moved to North Carolina. At that point, she had invested 12 years of her life toward her chosen career field. The job in North Carolina was Assistant Director at a Garden. The work environment was horrendous. Her manager was abusive and the hours were never-ending. She was always stressed. Her family life and marriage became increasingly more strained. Through all of it, she persevered, determined to “stick it out” so that she could continue on her career path. One day, she was presented with a choice—stay or go, but she knew if she stayed she would never be happy. She quit, immediately, and began re-building her life. The girl who loved to garden is me. I worked for 14 years steadily to become the best Public Garden manager I could be. I learned about leadership and plants. I kept up my writing skills and learned how to supervise a crew. I started programs, new initiatives and Public Relations opportunities. Then, one day, I had to walk away, or lose my marriage, my health and my family. I started over. To jump off the career ladder I had steadily climbed for years was devastating. However, I did not lie around moping. I immediately began brainstorming how I could stay in my city, in the house I had just bought, use my skills, become re-employed and keep going. I founded a freelance writing business. I secured a job as a marketing professional at a local business. I transferred my problem-solving skills, leadership skills, and writing skills to my new ventures. I had planned my entire life to be a garden director, and stay in the Public Garden field forever, but life happened along the way. I had planned and prepared, and amassed skills through self-discipline and a constant need to learn. When I left my professional field in which I had spent my entire adult life, I used my focus and determination to re-build my life. Without understanding myself, my knowledge and my skills, I would have had a difficult time re-inventing myself. Without clear priorities—health and family comes before wealth and work—I would not have made a good choice when seeking re-employment. Self-Discipline and Self-Awareness Self-discipline and self-awareness go hand in hand. Self awareness allows you to employ self discipline toward meaningful ends. Self awareness also allows you to employ self discipline if your life changes course—to continue on your new course and achieve success. Written by Katie Elzer-Peters, a freelance writer/ghost writer from The Garden of Words.
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It is possible to be focused, disciplined and productive without sacrificing everything that comes from exhibiting those traits. In order to focus in a way that delivers results and allows your life to remain in balance, planning and prioritizing must come first. Planning and prioritizing allow you to think, in a calm and rational manner, about your goals and aspirations. They will let you dig deep to see what you feel is worth your time, and what is not. After planning and prioritizing, success comes by remaining focused and motivated until you reach your end goal.